Why India needs Feminism and Feminists?


I guess India is the only country where Indians worship Goddess for 9 days (navratri). I guess India is the only country where we have had women who have held the posts of both President and Prime Minister, (America is yet to get its first female President). I guess India is the only country where the a girl child is epitomised as the avatar of Indian Goddess Lakshmi. I guess India has the highest percentage of women in the technology sector around 21% the percentage is even more than that of developed countries like America which has around 17%. Should I take pride in these statistics?  Should I conclude that women are worshiped and respected in India?

I was born to my parents after 18 years of their wedding, something that is not common in any part of the world. My parents were extremely happy and to celebrate my arrival they invited all their relatives and friends . However to their surprise a few of my relatives were concerned for them, and  dared to ask ,” Itne saalon baad bhi bhagwaan ne diya toh kya, beti” (After so many years all you could get was a girl child) When someone narrated this story to me , I didn’t hesitate to ask my father that whether I was an unwanted child. He had a smile on his face and said,” You are my special child” I was blessed with a loving and caring father, but everyone isn’t that lucky in India.

The sex ratio in India is 940/1000 (male/female), and with every census its declining. The girl child is killed even before she is born. The sole reason behind this is  in India female child is considered as a burden while a male child is considered as an investment. The day a girl child is born parents start worrying about her wedding. Dowry system is  a prevalent custom in India.  One of my friend’s colleague was telling her that it took him 4 years to find a good match for his sister. He paid around 20 lakhs to get her wed to her perfect husband as she was a little plump. (Well, husband’s are pricey, aren’t they?) So he had to help her settle with her husband (who came with a price tag).

I still can’t forget the conversation that I had with one of my uncle who wanted me to get married to some obnoxious guy (who barely could speak in English) My uncle told me that the groom’s family had rejected me (as if I cared). My father started blaming me for being rude to the guy. After investigation I came to know the real reason for rejection. The groom’s parents were worried  that their son (the groom)  would have to take my parent’s responsibility. (Well, WTF!) My parents have made me independent so much that I can take care of myself and my family. On the positive side I never met that obnoxious guy again 😛

Indian parents want their daughters to be perfect. They want her to be perfect at cooking and at household chores. They want her to be an obedient wife and a good daughter in law. They don’t want her to take a stand or take any risk. They are taught not to talk to strangers but are forced to get married to a stranger (which they call an arranged marriage)They condition her to learn and adapt to the perfect lessons. On the other hand a male child is taught to take risks. he has no timelines, he has no restrictions, he is on his own. He is never taught cooking or other household chores as these are considered as woman’s job.

Last month, I visited my friend PJ with my nephew and niece. I was having a conversation with his wife so PJ volunteered to make a cup of coffee for us. After we left their house my inquisitive nephew asked me’ Attu, why did PJ uncle make coffee for you, isn’t it supposed to be his wife’s job?” I was shocked, but then I realized its not his fault he is conditioned like that. I just couldn’t resist and shared this video with him when  I came back:


I guess India is the only country where if a man sleeps with several women he is a stud but if a woman sleeps with several men she is a slut. I guess India is the only country where woman’s consent is not at all required and very few women know about marital rape. I guess India is the only country where 1 out of every 5th girl is removed from the school because she bleeds.I guess India is the only country where even after fooling around with many women a man wants to get married to a virgin. I guess India is the only country where household chores are considered to be a woman’s job.



19 Comments Add yours

  1. Ashik T M says:

    I will try to take responsibility of my better half once I get married ….wonderful message.there is always a relief and satisfaction in sharing the loved ones time☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good atleast my blog has an effect on someone.. Glad to know!!


      1. Ashik T M says:

        Yeah 😊
        Looking forward your writings..!!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ankit Prakash says:

    When a child is born it never takes the name of some god or his father but the first word from its mouth is “Ma”. Such a beauty of woman is that she becomes equivalent to god when she becomes mother.
    Women of today must turn herself into ma kali when needed. They should not be treated as equal or according to me they are better than us in many fields. “Betiyan paraya dhan hoti hai” this old saying must be eradicated from the society and girls should not be treated as a burden.
    In short a girl is just like a flower give her care and respect so that she can spread her fragnance in the world.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Every line ,each word is full of emotions. I can feel the vibes.

    How intelligently you enraped the bitter message in sugar coated pill.

    Loved your honest expressions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks!! How did I miss your message? Anyway thanks for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The discrimination becomes glaring after you get married! Its especially difficult for girls who are raised in a modern family and get married in a conservative one. The whole new setting just confuses her, so choose your future family carefully, not just the guy!..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for reading Anupriya!! Thanks for the advice 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Yen says:

    Abit alien to me this concept of arranged marriage and big gender divide. As even going several generations back in my own tribal history, both genders were of equal standing. And they were headhunters ! Not as civilised as other advance cultures. I guess human are instintively equal but “civilisation” taught them inequality. To be accepted, we comply to the expectations of society. It requires great strength, indifference 🙂 and bravery to change and be different. Alas, we only have one life ( atleast in this form :-).

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You will find the solution each of your problem, sooner or later ! Keep striving.


    1. True that!! How are you doing?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am fine, how are you?
        Missed you many times .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Now back 🙂 do visit the page thatmate on Facebook…would love to have an article from you on the page

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Send me the link i will try . I rarely use face book.

        Liked by 1 person

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