I recently read an article on women and their rising stress levels. It stated that depression could also be one of the reasons of rising number of suicides. Studies have shown that women are more depressed than men; the reason could be social, personal or biological. Women undergo hormonal changes like menopause, menstruation, menopause, postpartum and pregnancy. They undergo social pressure like marriage, kids , in-laws. Then they have personal issues like aging, weight, looks, wrinkles, etc. They are constantly fighting and adjusting with all kinds of pressures. They try hard balancing their personal and professional lives. Every day is a battle between a mother and a corporate.
Recently heard news of Pratyusha Banerjee committing suicide, the reason quoted was domestic abuse. So, was she depressed? This isn’t the first case of suicide due to depression, Jia Khan, Divya Bharati etc are the famous personalities who have been victims of abuse, other sexual harassment and were depressed.
It was also mentioned in the article that amongst all the women in the world, women in a developing countries like India are the most stressed out. I know shopping, messaging etc. helps a lot to beat the stress however the thing that really helps us to bounce is our support system. Parents form the most important part of our support system, they remind you how good you are, they accept you the way you are. I remember I cleared my engineering with distinction and the first question my dad ask was have you cleared all the subjects? He never expected me to score good marks, he was even happy with the pass marks. He always trusted me, whether it was choosing a career, a job or a car. I know we all have parents like mine so why do we take stress? If they don’t live with us they are just phone call away. I always feel if we are felling sad or left out we should contact them first.
Har ek friend zaroori hota hain!!!The other important part of our support system, There are friends whom you can call early in the morning and they will be at your door step to help. There are friends in office to share the professional grievances, in the local transport to share your food and recipes, Friend with whom you can share your room, your feelings, your sorrows and sometimes your comb.
But still I feel women need to change a few things about themselves to make things better and to avoid depression:
- Get out of the guilt: We, women are so busy being a mother, a wife, a daughter that they forget about themselves. These relationships are really important but not as much as the relationship that we have with ourselves. We have an habit to constantly think about what we are not able to do. Corporate women constantly think about the family they leave behind, and housewives frequently think about the careers they left behind. Ladies, don’t be too hard on yourselves, be a little selfish, it’s not bad to take out time for yourselves and do what you always wanted to do.
- Be more ambitious: Indian women are not encouraged to be as ambitious as men are. Many quit their jobs after getting married, to raise kids or if the husband relocates. Ladies, your parents spend money to raise and to educate you, to make you independent. High aspirations and ambitions to do well in your life is our birth right.
- Outsource (whenever and whatever you can): In India its easier for us to outsource household chores and cooking, unlike in developed countries. I have seen some women who constantly try to be a superwoman, a woman who can do everything on her own without the help of husbands or any domestic help. Please, stop doing this. Learn to share your load
- Raise your voice: Raise your voice against domestic violence, against dowry system, against gender issues in office. It’s not bad to ask Why not me? Or Why me? Don’t give up to the male egos. Don’t adjust just because you are afraid of the society. Ask for the post you want to be in, be heard, be visible, Be You!!